Midlife Sequel

for women creating their own next act

Paying It Forward

Posted: June 12, 2010
Author: Karen

Pay_it_ForwardAfter finishing a great 3+ mile walk yesterday, I opened my car door and reached for my iPhone to take it off the clip on my pants.  I felt for it and that sudden sinking sensation of loss hit me.  It wasn’t there.  The clip was still attached but the phone was gone.

That moment of panic grew and I quickly jumped back on the path, hoping against all odds of finding it.  As I met people on the path, I asked if they had seen a phone.  All were sympathetic, but none were helpful.

My mind began to check off what this would mean to me:

• A potential missed connection on a call that I was waiting anxiously to receive

• A couple hundred dollars to replace

• Time to restore all the data

• An uneasy feeling of a stranger having access to my information

But wait.  As I reached the halfway point, a woman, holding an iPhone was looking around…seeking someone…seeking me!

She had found the phone on the path and was looking for its owner.

I can’t say that my faith in human nature was restored, because I’ve never lost it.  But I did walk away feeling even more optimistic about the world we live in.  There are many more people intent on doing the right thing than we acknowledge and I thank the woman who made my day. I promise to pay it forward.

What a concept!

Category: EXPERIENCE, More, SHARE
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It’s Been a Great Year

Posted: April 29, 2010
Author: Karen

midlifesequelbacksmallA year ago, I started this blog as a means of learning more about myself, sharing my thoughts, and hoping to inspire others who are wondering “What’s next”?

As I look back on the past year, I’ve certainly learned a great deal.  I’ve met some amazing people, read many inspiring books and taken time to understand what’s important in my life.

When I was envisioning Midlife Sequel, the word SEQUEL and what it stood for was the focus of my thoughts and writing.  I will admit to stretching it a bit from time to time when I wanted to write about something that didn’t quite fit nicely in the box.

That, in and of itself is progress for me!

So how is the SEQUEL looking?  I’m going to be writing more about this through individual posts, but here are a few general thoughts.

SHARE

Giving back is perhaps the most gratifying action we can take in life.  We don’t live in isolation and I’ve seen more than ever this year that we truly do get more than we give.  My hope is that I can weave my desire to give back into my life in a greater way as I seek what’s around the corner.  Stay tuned!

EXPERIENCE

This past year I’ve focused on creating great experiences – and what a great time it’s been!  While there are too many to name, a few that come to mind are spending time with my kids who are quickly becoming young men, traveling with my family and friends, disappearing for girls weekends,  cooking – with mixed results,  tackling house projects – yes I took apart a toilet all by myself, hiking, taking on a few major volunteer projects, joining a book club, trying new restaurants, writing and cross country skiing – for which I’m still paying the price.  I’ve learned it’s really easy to create new experiences – just walk out your door and do it – or ask a friend to come along.

QUESTION

I think I’ve questioned everything about my life and the world that can possibly be under consideration, and I’m not done yet.  Questioning the status quo in our world can be a bit frightening but I know that not questioning is even more frightening.  So for those of you who have provided an ear – thanks.  For those of you I haven’t cornered yet, I won’t be offended if you pretend not to see me the next time you see me on the street.

UNWIND

When I wrapped unwinding into the sequel, there were two meanings for me.  One, to relax – and I’ve done it like never before in my life.  But more importantly, I wanted to unwind preconceived beliefs about many things in my life and this world so that I could look at the future with my eyes wide open.  I think I’ve done it to some extent, but I’m not sure we can ever be done shedding preconceived notions.

ENGAGE

People make the world go round and this year so many new people have entered my life and I feel truly blessed.  I believe that women at midlife want to deepen friendships and invite new people into their lives.   What amazes me is how easy it is, if you just reach out a little bit.

LEARN

I went into this past year with the attitude that I was going to become an active learner.  Whenever I didn’t know the answer to a question, I looked it up.  I engaged in conversations about topics that were unfamiliar to me.  I read books on subjects that I had wondered about for some time.  One of my learning goals is still unfulfilled – to learn Italian.  Rosetta Stone, here I come!

As I look to the next year, I know that I won’t be writing daily as I did early on in my blogging adventure.  But I will continue to write and share my thoughts.  I hope you’ll continue the journey with me!

Category: ENGAGE, EXPERIENCE, LEARN, QUESTION, SHARE, UNWIND
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Can a Tiger Change His Stripes?

Posted: April 6, 2010
Author: Karen

tigerphotoI’ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods because I’m not sure there’s much to add to what’s already been said and said and said.

As I watched his news conference yesterday, I began to ponder the ability of people to change.  If you’ve read this blog before, you probably know that I’m an eternal optimist.  Therefore, I do believe that most of us can change our destructive behaviors if we are truly motivated to do so.

But I think what matters is what motivates us to change.  In Tiger’s case, is it commercial endorsements?  Or the hope of saving his marriage?  Or having the respect of his children as they grow old enough to understand his actions?  Or has he recognized that he isn’t who he wants to be?  Only he knows for sure.

True and lasting change comes from within and attempts to change others will drive you crazy.   Can we help someone realize they need to create change in their lives.  Sure.  Can we support those we love who are trying to change?  Absolutely.   But in the end, ownership of the change belongs to the person seeking and needing change.

Lest we think that the concept of change and the attempt to control others started in our lifetime, consider this quote from 95 A.D.

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible…    …Remember too, that if you think you have free rein over things that are naturally beyond your control, or if you attempt to adopt the affairs of others as your own, your pursuits will be thwarted and you will become a frustrated, anxious and fault-finding person.”

- Epicetus, Stoic Philosopher (In approx. 95 AD.)

Category: LEARN, QUESTION
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Madness in March

Posted: March 18, 2010
Author: Karen

basketballMarch Madness.  Basketball fanatics live for it.  So do I, even though I can count the number of games I’ve watched this year on one hand.

I love doing the bracket challenges and this year I logged onto CBS, Fox and all other googleable contests to see if I can win the million dollars.

It’s a sure bet that I’ll never win, because I LOVE the underdog and I’m biased.  On all of my entries, Minnesota makes it into at least the second round – never mind that they made it into the tournament by the the skin of their teeth.

One of my entries has 15th seed UC Santa Barbara making it to the Final Four.  Another has 11th seed San Diego State winning the whole shebang – even though a quick search tells me that the highest seed to ever win the NCAA tournament was 8th seeded Villanova in 1985.

What does this say about me?

Perhaps I live in a fantasy world.  Or maybe I believe in the impossible.  It could be that I’m naive.

Face it. Kansas, Syracuse, Kentucky and Duke have plenty of people cheering for them.

So for all you underdog-lovers, let’s hear it for Lehigh, Vermont, East Tennessee State and UABP – a team from Arkansas, in case you didn’t know.

Category: ENGAGE
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Moving On

Posted: March 12, 2010
Author: Karen

I remember seeing an interview with Oprah Winfrey a few years ago and the interviewer asked her what she would change from her past if she had the chance.  Her response?  Nothing.

Oprah explained that every event in her life contributed to who she is at this moment and she wouldn’t change any of it.

I get what she’s saying, because we truly are the sum total of all the people, events and experiences in our lives.

I was talking with someone recently about do-overs in life and lamenting the fact that we can’t turn back the clock.  We agreed that the best we can do when we slip up is to recognize our short comings, apologize if need be, learn from the mistake and move on.

In terms of forgiveness, I think we all have a better chance of receiving it if we ask for it and truly learn from our mistakes – or in other words – Don’t Do It Again.

Whether forgiveness is given or not, our only option is to move beyond the mistake.  Beating ourselves up doesn’t change a thing.

So let’s agree: Do-overs – not possible.  Forgiveness – perhaps.  Moving on – necessary.

Category: EXPERIENCE, LEARN
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About Midlife Sequel

Karen: Talker, writer, thinker, compulsive reader, avid walker and enthusiastic traveler. karen@midlifesequel.com

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